Ok here I am, typing this with my one good hand, and a pencil in my other hand.
I know you're all wondering, What is it that keeps Justin Payne from achieving greatness
in the ranks of ECCW? Is it his lack of gimmick? Could it be his sheer lack of in ring
ability? Could it be the fact that he hasn't even finished training at the prestigious
ECCW House of Pain wrestling school? Sure, it could be one or even all of those things but
I think not. I think the ECCW higher-up's are scared. I think the sheer potential and
crowd captivating talent I ooze from my every squeaky clean pore has the entire roster
scared of the day they have to step into the ring with the Mofo himself Justin Payne.
They're scared I'll have to carry their tired collective asses throughout the match and
then send them running back home to their hermaphroditic, she-male, half bred, horses ass
excuses for girlfriends and wives. I on the other hand will casually wipe the single
droplet of perspiration off my brow, step over their mangy scurvy ridden ass, hop in my
sweet G-ride, pop open the Digital StarTac, decide who the lucky lady of the evening will
be, and have her waiting with an iced bottle of crystal when I return to my crib. That is
unless I've been injured by the sheer incompetence of my opponent. Which brings me to the
second part of my message.
Injuries. I've been victim to quite a few in the last few months. I suffered and torn MCL and damaged knee cartilage during a match with that pathetic excuse for a sack of sh*t Rockin' Vengeance. That is one seriously disturbed character. He threw me, a 6'4" near 300lb. man, into his young daughter. What kind of sick freak would do something like that? I doesn't matter though because she was ugly anyways.
Pvt. Toad Kelly this guy, ECCW's answer to GI Jane, thinks he's tough but the only way he can defeat me in a match is by dislocating a bunch of my ribs. Next time he tries something like that I'll rip the rib right out of my own chest and stick it right up his greasy, broom handle shaped ass!
This brings me to my latest injury. Somebody in ECCW planted the board that cut my hand and left over an inch and a half of shrapnel inside me. It required emergency exploratory surgery to remove the particles and repair some nerve damage. I don't know who it was but I know it was somebody who was at the September 10th Eagle's Hall show. When I find out who it was......it won't be pretty.
The Mofo has spoken, all hail Justin Payne.